


No One Mourns (the Wicked)

by PhoenixFalling



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex has a secret or two, F/F, Hints of Supercorp, Kara goes on a spiral after a massive death rocks her world, a little bit of blood/violence?, i may have two papers due and a final exam but my priorities are definitely straight, kara may just start to lose control, lena was kara's humanity, maybe a bit of Alex/kelly too? maybe, nothing excessive!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2020-06-25 18:18:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19751185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFalling/pseuds/PhoenixFalling
Summary: Nothing good can last forever, change is eminent. Alex calls Kara with the worst news of her entire life; Lena Luthor had been murdered after several attempts had been made not just directed towards Lena, but Kara as well. Now it is up to Kara to find who killed her best friend while struggling to maintain her humanity. Alex, however, has a secret that just may bust open the investigation wide open.





	1. Requiem

**Author's Note:**

> imagine me, driving to see Spider-man: Far from home when a song pops on, thanks to my musical playlist, and almost have a conniption because of the idea i had for this
> 
> I swear I'll finish one of the (Many) unfinished supercorp fics I have, feel free to suggest which ones you want to see updated in the comments :)   
> As of right now, this has priority.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Nia Nal was mindlessly tapping her pen against the table, gaze clouded as she stared off into the distance. Kara wasn’t any better off, it had been a successful work week, she had finished her report early and was trying to be productive. It was becoming increasingly harder to focus as the day crawled by, she was eager for the workday to end so she could do just about anything else.

Kara was supposed to be helping Nia with her fashion catalog, but her young apprentice was sprawled out on her desk; half asleep with three empty cups of coffee in the trash and a fourth cup next to the keyboard. It probably had something to do with the intense street training they had done last night that bled into the early morning, or the array of dreams Nia suffered through.

One constant on her mind was Lena. These past few weeks have been extremely stressful, not just as Supergirl but as Kara Danvers as well. Over the past month, Lena Luthor and Kara had been targets of multiple violent crimes. Several explosives, two poison attempts, and someone even resorted to shooting up the Korean place she was having lunch with Lena. She had been heavily considering confessing to Lena about her Kryptonian origins, it may help keep her safe if she didn’t have to worry about her identity while trying to protect Lena from the attempted murders.

Her cellphone rang, shaking the entire desk as it vibrated aggressively on the desk; effectively snapping both Kara and Nia back to earth. Kara sighed heavily, answering it with a half-hearted groan,” Alex! Please tell me you’ve got something for me to do.”

“Kara, I need you to come down to Lena’s apartment,” Alex said over the phone. Something in her sister’s tone struck a nerve deep within her chest that made Kara feel instantly sick. Alex never called her like this, she was never this vague. If it was an emergency, she surely would have told her to ‘suit up’, right? Was Lena okay?

“Why? Is everything okay?” Kara croaked, catching Nia’s worried glance with a frown.

“Just-” Alex sighed despondently heavily over the speaker,” Get over here now.” The phone beeped once to signal the call had ended. She was disturbed by the seriousness of her tone, she just had a really bad feeling about what was waiting for her at Lena’s penthouse.

Nia set down the coffee cup and quietly asked,” What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Kara forced herself to say, she couldn’t stop her mind from going to terrible, horrible places that didn’t go anywhere pleasant. It can’t, not to Lena. “Alex said to meet her at Lena’s.”

“Well, let’s go then,” Nia said, standing up and grabbing her jacket, motioning to the elevator.

Kara nodded gratefully, deeply appreciating her friend’s company during the stressful trip to her best friend’s apartment. Nia tried to prompt conversation on the drive over to Lena’s apartment. The second they turned the corner to the building entrance, cop cars lined the street. Black and whites, uptight agents in tight suits, suspicious black SUV’s that everyone in the government seemed to own were parked horizontally, serving as a blockade on both sides of the street.

“What the hell?” Nia gasped as they hopped out of the car, a bewildered expression on her naive face as she started to realize the full scope of the situation.

Kara, on the other hand, couldn’t feel her legs as she stumbled out of the car. She also couldn’t feel her arms or any part of her body for that matter. In a blink, she was at the open door to Lena’s home. She had been here countless times before for game night, dinner and a movie, or just the occasional late-night when Lena would call her in tears.

But something was different, no longer was it a bright place she typically associated with fun nights. The atmosphere was hostile and secretive, people in suits lined the hallway and harshly whispering to one another. Policemen tried to stop her, but Kara blindly pushed through them. Her vision blurred, the edges were fuzzy indistinguishable images as people tried to talk to her. Kara felt a familiar presence pull her in for a hug, whispering in her ear in an effort to comfort her.

She wasn’t even sure she was breathing, let alone feeling anything. It’s like her body separated from her mind, she felt her body crumble as she sank to her knees. Her mind finally allowed herself to believe what her eyes were seeing.

Lena’s apartment was ransacked, supposedly in a robbery. Bloodstained the light gray carpet that covered the living room, a sickening black plastic sheet sprawled out in the shape of a human body laid out in the hallway between the bedroom and kitchen. The window that served as a backdrop to the balcony were blown out, shards of glass thrown wildly throughout the apartment. Her television was shattered on the floor, indicating that there was a struggle.

Kara desperately scanned the apartment for any more clues, taking note of a gun in an evidence bag being carried out of the room. Almost every cabinet door was flung open, someone had definitely been trying too hard to make this appear like a robbery gone horribly wrong.  
The next twenty seconds felt like an out of body experience as two people wearing sleek jackets that had _coroner_ spelled out on the back lifted the body bag up, carefully carrying it out of the bloodied apartment. She didn’t even need to use her x-ray vision, the sinking feeling in her gut amplified as Kara shook her head in denial.

The buzzing finally dulled, allowing her hearing to dial back to a human frequency. “I’ve got you, Kara. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, you’re going to make it through this,” Alex was repeating continuously, her arms wrapped tightly around Kara’s shoulders.

“No… No… I can’t. This isn’t possible. This is some elaborate scheme, right? She can’t be gone. I won’t allow it,” Kara said, surprised to hear that her voice completely lacked any emotion. Maybe it was because she was at war with herself, battling out over what was clearly true to what she wanted to believe was fiction.

“I’m sorry, Kara… But it is real. I am so sorry, I know how close you two were,” Alex murmured softly. She buried her head into her sisters' shoulders as tears started streaming down her face. “You’re going to be okay, I promise,” she tried to reassure Kara but her words were just leaves in the wind.

“No, you don’t understand. You will never understand,” Kara’s voice was now a harsh whisper as her voice faltered. “She was the human side of me, the best part of me.”

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” Alex gave Kara a tight hug and helped her stand up. Her legs were still wobbly and had to lean on her sister to help her stagger out of the building.

“I won’t rest until we find whoever did this,” Alex promised, her tone sounding uncertain if she actually could. But there was something else though, her heart rate was beating rapidly. Kara ignored it, charting it down as a result of examining the homicide scene of a friend. “I liked her too, she was a great friend for you and helped save National City more times than I can count.”

Outside, Nia was talking quietly to Brainy; her eyes wide with horror as he told her in detail what he presumed what happened to Lena. She elbowed Brainy hard enough to shut him up as Kara and Alex passed by them.

Even thinking about Lena brought a tsunami of nauseous over Kara, she felt almost faint and off-kilter was the best way to describe how she was feeling. She was on the verge of throwing up, a sensation she had never really even felt before (except after the rare times she did was after the heavy influence of special alien alcohol). She wanted to go back to yesterday morning when Lena dropped off coffee and muffin for Kara and Nia. Her last memory of Lena was far too brief, they only had a quick twenty-minute chat before she had to leave for a meeting.

Kara could remember everything about that last interaction, the way Lena’s eyes lit up when she suggested a weekend at the lake for a break from the city life. Her smile when Kara thanked her for the breakfast, the way the early morning light brought out the golden flecks in her light green eyes. Whenever Kara giggled, Lena would fiddle with a strand of hair that hung loosely in front of her ear. Kara remembered perhaps too clearly how her heart fluttered when Lena’s hand brushed against hers.

And now she was gone. The only person left that made her feel so alive, so real, so much more so than anyone else she had ever known. Kara would have blasted off into the sky to get away from everyone if it wasn’t because they were in public and she was dressed as a civilian. Maybe it was time she stopped trying to be human since destiny clearly didn’t want her to be happy.

The following hour jumped by in the blink of an eye, the next thing she knew, Alex was helping Kara climb into bed. Her eyebrows were tightly knitted as she was deep in thought, a deep frown that certainly didn’t help Kara feel any better.

“Don’t worry about Catco, I am sure they more than understand if you took some time away…” Alex tucked her into bed like a mother comforting a child after a nightmare. “Nia will be here soon with potstickers and pizza. Kara, listen to me.” She took Kara’s hand and squeezed it softly,” I will stop at nothing until we put whoever did this in jail. Take your time, I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Kara didn’t respond, she just stared at the ceiling as she waited for the full effect to hit her. She wasn’t sure when she would shake this shock, or if she ever would. She didn’t know what she felt, it was a giant mixing pot of fear, grief, an uncontrollable amount of hatred for whoever did this. A surprisingly violent urge to find whoever did this and make them suffer. She needed Lena to balance her in this insane life she had taken up as Supergirl.  
Lena needed her and Kara wasn’t there for her, the one time she wasn’t listening, the worst possible scenario happens. Kara sighed heavily as another sob rocked her body, allowing for her eyelids to give up just like the rest of her. Her face felt like she had flown too close to the sun, her chest hurt as if someone was sitting on top of her. Kara found herself hugging a pillow so tightly the stuffing started bursting out.

The split-second her eyelids drifted shut, Kara was thrown into a fond memory of the brief time she had spent at Lena’s lake house. It was in the middle of absolutely nowhere and more of a safe house than a vacation house, but it helped both women unwind from work-related stress. This particular memory was of their final night, they were sitting on the deck observing the beautiful array of purple and orange reflecting off the lake as frogs sang off-key in the reeds.

She had been planning that entire week to tell Lena about her Kryptonian origins and that moment would have been so perfect. However, when Kara turned to Lena with full intention to confess, her words were lost to the wind, stolen before she even had a chance to speak by how the orange/purple light sharpened Lena’s distinctive features. There was a hint of sadness in her rich green gaze that stopped Kara from confessing, instead, Lena leaned against her as they watched the sunset with only the orchestra of nature filling the darkening sky.

Kara knew, deep down, that she should have confessed then and there. Maybe Lena would still be alive… But how could she? Everything was too perfect, why risk jeopardizing their friendship for what? A harmless secret that would change the very definition of their friendship surely didn’t have any potential catastrophic consequences.

Kara finally dozed off in a strange serene state, clinging to the lake memory to keep her as calm as one could expect from someone who lost their best friend. She had actually slept through the night and well into the morning with only waking up twice; to hydrate herself only to lose it in another saga of tears.

Her phone buzzed itself off the nightstand, forcing Kara to begrudgingly awake. Kara expected it to be one of the dozens of calls from Eliza or Alex, but instead, she was met with brief confusion as she made out the contact ID as National City Corrections Center. A demonic voice in the back of her head reminded her of what happened yesterday as she forced herself to answer the phone, shaking hands and all. Kara’s gut twisted in the idea that Lilian had something to do with her daughter's death, she wouldn’t put it past her.

“Hello?” Kara croaked, blinking in surprise at how scratchy her voice sounded.

“Ms. Danvers, you’re taking this as well as I expected,” A voice she recognized immediately said with forced politeness as the pit in her stomach crumbled away to an abyss.

“Lilian? What do you want?” She coughed a couple of times in an attempt to clear her throat but only made the soreness feel worse.

“Let me say my two cents Ms. Danvers and I will leave you to your grieving,” the soft sigh on the other end surprised Kara, she didn’t know Lilian gave a damn about Lena. She took Kara’s silence as permission to continue,” I want you to do the eulogy at the funeral. I will not be able to attend due to certain… arrangements. I know Lena would want you to do it anyway, she wouldn’t want me on the same continent of her funeral. Besides, while I did not approve of her fondness of you, I can at least respect it.”

“I-I don’t know what to say…” She hadn’t even thought about the funeral, who was going to orchestrate that?

That was to be a concern for another time because Lilian added one final request,” Make the bastard suffer.”

“Lilian, you know I let the law do the punishment,” Kara squeaked, drawing a blanket around her shoulders. Lilian Luthor’s tone was terrifying, rich with grief and a touch of raw emotion she had never heard from the callous Cadmus leader.

“Do not be coy, Kara. I know what you are capable of. You are powerful, Ms. Danvers. I know you will not let anything stop you from finding whomever killed my daughter. I also know that no matter how much you try to maintain this ‘good girl’ act, you will not be able to contain your anger forever,” she shrugged. Kara’s blood boiled at Lilian’s gross know-it-all attitude.

The call ended abruptly, Lilian must have assumed she would do as she asked. How could Kara say no? Of course, she would speak at Lena’s funeral, she had so few true friends and allies.

Kara was left alone with her barrage of thoughts as she sat up in her bed, teary eyes glued to her phone as she tapped through photos and videos of her and Lena together. Lilian’s vengeful words echoed in her ears, and for the first time in her term as Supergirl, she felt herself slipping away into a dangerous place. It was terrifying, admitting to herself that she wanted more than revenge, she wanted whoever to do this to suffer. Not at the hands of the law, but at her own.


	2. The Room Where It Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take a look at an interesting conversation that happened three weeks prior to Lena's death...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not... my strongest chapter honestly. But idk, I didn't know how to follow up so... here we are.

Three Weeks Before Lena's Death

Alex Danvers was mindlessly doing paperwork in her office, the worst but necessary aspect about being Director of the DEO. After all, someone had to write up reports and keep the government at bay. It was the dull side of a thrilling job, one that she would call her life’s true purpose. It also had the added benefit that she was able to work with her sister and help protect her too.

Not that she had been doing the best job recently, but it wasn’t because of Kara’s Kryptonian alter ego, but because of her association with one particular controversial person. The last two times she was out with Lena, someone attacked them. If it wasn’t for her sister's quick thinking, she was able to protect Lena and protect her identity, but if this kept happening… It was only a matter of time before not just Lena added things up, but other people as well.  
But it wasn’t just with Lena, she had been attacked with a similar method (poison in her food) with a little note attached that said,“For the one and only Kara Danvers”. Why her silly sister ate it, she’ll never know. The only reason they knew it was poisoned was that Nia had a vision. Alex was becoming increasingly worried at how Kara was being targeted.

A quick knock on the door startled Alex, her hand instinctively going to the holster resting around her waist. She stared, wide-eyed like a dumbfounded deer in the headlights of a looming truck at who stood in her doorway, Lena Luthor. Self-proclaimed “Good Luthor” and admittedly a genius, her sister’s best friend. A person she learned to like and has gained quite the appreciation for the past couple of years was awaiting for her permission to come in.

“Director Danvers,” Lena said politely, stepping into her office after Alex invited her in with a nod.

“How can I help you, Ms. Luthor?” Alex asked. The way she reluctantly strode towards Alex, her hands nervously fidgeting with her watch.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about the attacks against myself and Kara,” Lena took a staggered breath, steadying herself as she rested a hand on the chair opposite of Alex.

“Yes Lena, I am well aware of the murder attempts on my sister,” she closed the window on her computer and stood up to force Lena to look at her. There was something odd about this entire conversation, she wanted something but just couldn’t bring herself to ask.

“Oh, yeah. Right,” Lena’s eyes narrowed as they grew distant with thought. Alex was curious to figure out what was brewing behind those magnificent green eyes, a skill her sister had obtained over their years of friendship. Kara always seemed to know what was on Lena’s mind, something that Alex was slightly jealous of. The aspect of being so close to someone and know them so well that they would be ab

Her patience was slowly slipping away, Alex had to prompt Lena to get a response,” And?” Lena hesitated, shaking her head to clear her head as she finally looked Alex in the eye,” I have a way to stop the attacks.”

“How?” Alex demanded, making no effort to hide the skepticism heavy in her voice.

“It’s temporary, at least until we figure out who is going after Kara,” Lena said, skirting around the exact details of her plan.  
“I’m running out of patience, can you just explain your plan so I can get back to work?” Alex grumbled, taking a step to her window to look down at the bustling DEO below. She was far too busy to be planning a nonsensical plan that would result in either of their deaths.

“It’s more of an outline…” Lena confessed, head hanging now.

“We'll start there,” Alex said, giving her an encouraging nod. She had never seen a  
Luthor looks so conflicted, let alone with part of a plan. Usually, they had a plan concocted and ready to execute within minutes of an issue presenting itself.

Lena took a long, deep breath before jumping into her half-ass plan that was so discrete it shouldn’t even be considered a plan,” We fake my death, find out who is trying to kill Kara, and things go back to normal.”

“That’s a horrible plan,” Alex said bluntly and turned to Lena, hands on her hips as she tried to make sense of what Lena said. “Forgetting how complicated it would be to convince not just Kara, but Supergirl and the entirety of National City that you fucking died, what would you do in the meantime? You’re kind of recognizable, being the sister of the infamous Lex Luthor. Oh! Not to mention you have a giant company to run.”

Lena’s nostrils flared as she went from being awkwardly quiet to loud and infuriated, “I know it’s not as simple as it sounds, there’s a lot of shit to figure out behind the scenes. I’ve dealt with the L-Corp side of things the day I took over to ensure it’s in proper hands if anything were to happen to me. My concern is Kara, I couldn’t live with myself if anything were to happen to her because of me. She isn’t just my best friend, she’s everything to me.” Damn it to hell if Lena wasn’t convincing, she sure knew what strings to pull to tug Alex to her side.

“And you think she’d forgive you for this? Don’t you think there are better ways for us to go about this situation? We can just handle it like usual, just wait for the bad guy to launch a public attack and take him out then,” Alex shook her head, getting the feeling that Lena was not going to back down from this fight that easily. There was also the fact that unless this assailant knew about Kara’s Kryptonian weakness, her sister was safe.

With that thought in mind, Alex was forced to consider what Kara would have wanted. Her secret from Lena was monumental to their relationship, she didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Lena noticed Kara chucking bullets over her shoulder as if it were a fly. “Do you think Kara would forgive either of us if we were even able to pull this off? I think the fuck not.”

“I would rather her be mad at me than dead,” Lena’s tone suddenly changed to a softer degree, confusingly affectionate that matched the warmth in her eyes.

Alex sighed heavily, groaning as she rubbed her temple,” I just don’t think it’s possible. The risk versus reward, Lena… I just don’t know.”

“I came to you out of courtesy, Alex. I just want to protect Kara,” she shifted her gaze to someone on the ground floor. “And if I have to go through you to do it than I will.”

“You’re dead set on going through with this, aren’t you?” Alex growled. Lena Luthor was respectively persistence, she could at least give her credit for that. With or without her help, Kara was going to be destroyed by Lena’s ‘death’. At least if Alex meddled, she would be able to ensure that it went smoothly without a hitch. And to hopefully put an end to the whole charade as quickly as possible.

“You’re not worried about the backlash? The questions? The assumptions that media is going to take and fucking run with. It’s not just going to be the shit they’re going to post about you when you die, but the field day the news outlets are going to have when you miraculously come back from the dead,” Alex pointed out, wanting to make sure that she had a complete grasp of the consequences.

Lena waved her hand dismissively, “What are they going to say about me that they haven’t already said? What’s so wrong about faking your death to find out who is trying to kill your best friend?” She said with a sheepish grin, she wasn’t connecting the dots at all, almost as if she was purposefully avoiding the obvious conclusion.

“People like to write what they want to see between the lines, Lena,” Alex warned, partially amused that Lena was utterly blind to how the world was going to interpret her actions. Not many people would set up a fake homicide to save their ‘best friend’. If Lena was going to be daft and ignore the shitstorm of rumors that will eventually come of this, then she’ll have to snuff out that fire on her own.

“Alex, please. I said I would handle it. I don’t care what they say, it’ll blow over within the week, what I do care about is Kara,” Lena said with such authentic truth in her voice that Alex was taken aback. She hadn’t heard the L-Corp CEO sound so… soft.  
She went quiet, her brain rapidly trying to configure a believable way to pull off this idiotic stunt. Alex decided with heavy reluctance that she would help Lena if anything it was to protect Kara. She had to consider that if these attacks continued, Kara’s life would be drawn more into the spotlight. People, as well as Lena, would start to question how she managed to constantly survive these attacks without so much as a scratch.

“You’re lucky I would go to the end of any earth for my sister,” Alex huffed through gritted teeth. She watched Lena’s gaze as it followed Supergirl and a part of her wondered if maybe she knew. After all, Lena Luthor was one of the smartest people she knew, it would be surprising if she hadn’t truly figured out about Kara’s secret.

“Really?” Lena turned to Alex with relief flooded her face,” I know you’re risking a lot by helping me. This could backfire tremendously for both of us, and you need to be able to lie to Kara until we stop whoever is trying to kill her.”

“And what if these attacks don’t stop? I feel like there are a couple of different ways to handle this situation instead of going 0 to 100,” Alex had to try offering a more logical approach, knowing that Lena was set on faking her death.

“What’s the point of attacking someone I care about if I’m dead? What’s the gain in that?” Lena made an adequate point that made some amount of sense.

“Fair enough,” Alex agreed with a nod, “Now I know you didn’t come to me without even a smidge of a plan, talk me through what you were thinking.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not even two weeks after Lena's untimely death, Alex was sitting alone in a ginormous building, her eyes glued to the television screen as she clicked through channel after channel. Every single channel had some form of a combination of slander against the unfortunate death of Lena Luthor. Everyone had their own opinion of her and now that she was dead, they had no restraint at what these so-called professionals said.

_The Twisted Sister of Lex Luthor, Dead at 26_   
_One Luthor Dead, Two to Go_   
_Sources say Supergirl may have been involved in Ms. Luthor’s Death_

“Where is Supergirl? The Kryptonian hero has not been sighted since the body of billionaire genius Lena Luthor was found last Friday morning dead in her apartment. Some sources speculate that she may have had a secret relationship hidden with the superhero, one that would make her brother’s blood boil,” one spokesperson as saying in their typical emotionless voice. Alex rolled her eyes once she took note of the station this particular story originated from- TMZ. The most pathetic excuse for a ‘news’ channel, it was filled with exaggeration and lies.

“Of course Lex would hate their relationship, they are friends,” she muttered to herself, “Lena saved Kara multiple times whereas he yearns for her blood to spill.” Alex slid her laptop into her backpack. She had a very early flight to catch, her taxi should be outside any second to take her to the airport.

Her phone screen lit up, brightening the room in a pale white light as Alex received a message. She glanced down at it, breathing a heavy sigh of relief as she read the message aloud,” _Kara’s improving. Not by much… She ate a little bit. So that’s better than nothing, I guess. She needs you though, make sure you’re back in time for the funeral_ -Nia.”

There was another message that was sent as she was reading Nia’s, one that simply said “ _See you soon. Have a safe flight_.”  
Alex groaned, clenching her stomach as her anxiety caused uncomfortable bubbles of fear in her gut. She was certain her hair was going to turn gray due to the tremendous amount of stress she was going through, torn between lying to her sister, the entire fucking city while helping Lena find who was after her and Kara. The entirety of the DEO, save for Brainy, thought Lena was dead and Supergirl was just away visiting Superman, not crying in her bed for the past month.

“With one Luthor dead, will National City see a decrease in crime? Had she secretly been orchestrating these alien attacks and using them to boost L-Corps finances?” The conspiracy reporter heavily implied by tone that this was all true. “Or had she discovered Supergirl’s secret identity and threatened to blackmail her? We may never truly know what happened.”  
_‘She isn’t prepared to handle this… This is bad. This is a lot worse than I predicted,’_ Alex thought as she turned off the television. An ominous storm brewed in her heart, she knew that somehow this was going to blow up in her face before this was all over.

Without a doubt, this was one of the hardest things she had ever done. Alex had completely underestimated Lena’s ‘death’ would have on Kara, she was far worse than when Mon-El left her twice. Before, she at least went to work and still played hero, but as far as Alex knew, Kara hadn’t left her apartment since. It was awful, Alex had no clue how to cheer her up.

J’onn was at a loss as well, he could feel her loss and emptiness without even trying to reach for it. The last time she talked to him, one particular comment wouldn’t leave her head, “When she was at her lowest point when he was forced to leave Earth, Lena was the one to make her smile. Not you, not Winn, not me. Lena. She was more than Kara’s best friend, to put it in perspective: imagine never seeing Kelly again. One day she’s there, and the next she is gone. Forever.”

“But J’onn,” Alex had said before it hit her what he was trying to say, “Kelly and I are dating. Kara and Lena aren’t dating, I don’t even think Lena’s queer.” The way J’onn looked at her would forever be burned into her memory because he was so unabashedly amused and even rolled his eyes at her. That’s when it hit her.

Neither women realized it, and Alex certainly wouldn’t be the one to tell it to either Lena or Kara that their friendship is not based on platonic feelings. That was one conversation she was going to leave to the two of them in the far future.  
Alex received a text alerting her that her driver was waiting outside the building. With one final look, she departed the DEO building before climbing into the taxi. She was to spend the next four days with Lena in an attempt to find whoever was trying to kill Kara. She didn’t like leaving National City, but it was necessary since she couldn’t risk calling Lena and it would be easier to comb over information that both of them found over the past weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so COMIC CON was a thing... How do we recover from this? How do we wait until OCTOBER-


	3. A star dies and another dims

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is finally alone and able to process her feeling about Lena's death. 
> 
> and
> 
> Lena and Alex start their research about who could be behind these attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize it's more of a character piece than anything else, but there will be more action eventually? Soon? Maybe next chapter? I have no idea. It's sloppy and out of order bc I keep thinking of new plot points and shoehorning it in. It's a lot of conversation and nothing else and I'm trYING to fix it okay??  
> I'm excited to keep working on this even if it isn't doing well, I've got plans to update a couple 'dead' fics eventually.

It may have taken Kara several hours to convince Nia to leave, but she was finally on her own for the first time in four days. Even then, the days prior all kind of blurred together; Kara knew that there were constantly people checking up on her but she wasn't exactly in a state to recall who. Nor did it matter, none of them were Lena.

Now that Alex was out of town for a couple of days and she wasn't being lovingly suffocated by her sister, she could finally compile her thoughts about, well, everything. Kara had so many people trying to cheer her up that she was growing sick of it.  
Kara was developing what Earth dwellers would call cabin fever, she was suffocating and wanted to punch her walls out of uncontrollable emotion. She tapped distractedly at the dozens of messages plaguing her phone from friends and family, all of them saying repetitive renditions of "I'm sorry for your loss" and "How are you doing?" Plus the occasional "You're looking great, honey!" Their tones were always flawed, giving away their confusion and sadness for her, not for Lena.

No one understood though, not a single one of them. Even Clark, who meant well, sent his condolences and genuine apologies for how he didn't trust her judgment in regards to Lena and recognized that she was a great friend for Kara.  
She glanced at her closet, seeing the new Supergirl suit stashed away in the corner. Kara smiled faintly, appreciating Lena's new design for the suit now more than ever. Even when Lena was gone she was still protecting Kara, even if she didn't realize it.

It was time for Kara to put the big girl pants on and get out of the house. She was done sulking, Lena would be ashamed that Kara was wasting her potential Kara wasn't planning on stopping any bank robberies, but the city needed to know she was there, especially with horrible rumors going around that she was involved in Lena's death.

One of the worst parts about this was that it seemed not a single person cared about the good Lena did, only the bad her brother did. Every single freaking article released was bashing Lena, saying that whoever did this did a favor to not just National City, but the entire world. Kara had enough. She had to get out her pent up emotions before even daring to touch her computer, but once she did, she would highlight the good in Lena with or without Catco's approval.

Lena's story would be heard. But she needed to get a breath of fresh air and just get away first. Every room in her apartment reminded her of Lena, from game nights to late-night chats to impromptu visits.

As she climbed out of bed, Kara's gaze landed on a small package resting on the nightstand, Alex brought it with her a while ago. It was from someone that was dealing out Lena's will and somehow, Kara was listed in the will. She didn't have the heart to touch it, but with a deep breath, she forced herself to reach for it. Hugging a pillow to her chest, eyes already blurring with tears, Kara opened the package.

Inside was a neatly folded letter on top of a petite silver box. Taking the letter first, she was disheartened to see that it was short and simple, but all the more important. Lena's all too perfect handwriting spelled out a single short sentence, "May our stars align in a different life."

Only as she pried open the jewelry box did Kara realize her hands were trembling. Laying on the felt was a little star, a rose gold six point star with a shimmering diamond in the middle. She took it gently, holding it to her heart as she fought back the burning tears. Wasting no time, she clasped the little hook, the star hanging perfectly at the base of her collarbone. "Perfect like always," Kara said with the faintest smile.

Her mood did a complete 180, she was abruptly filled with boiling rage and sorrow so much she had to run. The walls were caving in, her vision blurring as she felt another panic attack coming on.  
In a flash, she burst out of the apartment in the new Supergirl suit, which fit with surprising accuracy, speeding straight up to the sky. Kara didn't stop until she had climbed the sky, looking down below to National City. From up here, the city seemed so peaceful with its busy nightlife and lights illuminating the sky.

She flew aimlessly, letting her thoughts take control and her body just drifting without a destination. Kara didn't know what to do, someone she loved dearly was gone and was never coming back. The sooner she believed that Lena was gone, the sooner she could move on. But… she didn't want to move on. How could she? Lena was her world, the person she could rely on to make her happy, that had no worrying implications of impending doom. They had a genuine connection.

"Why does this feel different than when he left me? I don't understand," Kara sighed to herself, her throat tightening as tears already begun to threaten. "I don't know what I feel anymore… I am confused, I feel so alone. I can't talk to Alex, she won't understand."

She wouldn't, all Alex cared about was the DEO and keeping Kara safe. And while she appreciated and loved her sister, she was never really fond of Lena because of Lex and Lillian. Fair enough, how bizarre is it that Kara, a Kryptonian and a Luthor have such undeniable chemistry? Even if Lena hadn't known about the problematic side Kara, their friendship was doomed from the start.

"I can't do this without you," she whispered harshly, rubbing the star between her fingers. And then Kara realized where she had accidentally taken flown, just ten or so feet ahead was a blinding white sign that marked the building as ‘L-Corp'.

"Lena, why did you have to leave me?" She muttered, floating by the now-empty penthouse where Supergirl had frequently met up with her.

"Everything has a purpose, one way or another, Kara. It may take some time, but you'll see that maybe life had a reason," a gentle voice spoke behind Kara.

She whirled around, ready to blast them with a powerful gust of wind when she realized it was J'onn in his natural appearance.  
"Go away," Kara snarled as she forced herself away from the building.

"Please listen to me, Kara. I know you want to be alone, but at least let me say my part," J'onn said, stopping her from darting off by cutting off her path.

"No," Kara hissed as anger clawed its way out from the bottom of her shattered heart, "I don't have to listen to anyone. I don't want to listen to anyone anymore, I can't handle this right now."

"I know you're hurting, but-" J'onn tried to offer his words of wisdom but Kara wasn't having it.

"You don't know what I'm feeling," Kara snapped and despite feeling guilty because of J'onn's past, continued to rant, "I don't even know what I'm feeling. Okay? There. I said it. Of course, I want to be alone, my best friend was murdered. I have no leads, I just want revenge. You know how horrifying it is to want revenge, right? How dark and scary it is for this suffocating hatred to be consuming you. Life always has a way to screw me over, I've tried to be the best hero I can be. I saved so many people, and all I want is a little bit of happiness, apparently, that is too much to ask."

She gasped for air as she found herself struggling to breathe, "If I hadn't listened to you or Alex, I would have told Lena ages ago! She could still be alive! She would probably hate me, but at least she would be alive."

"I understand that Kara, you've lost so much. No one knows what the future will hold, and Lena's death is certainly a tragedy. It's horrible, but use it to motivate you. But this anger and energy to finding who did this and make sure they are punished to the full extent of the law," J'onn said softly. While the affection was in his voice, but annoying stoic in his face made her fists ball up.

"No one cares that she was murdered, they only care that a Luthor is dead," Kara hissed harshly, crossing her arms in contempt.

"My best friend is gone, J'onn. My last link to normal human life is gone. Why try anymore if it is becoming glaringly obvious it just isn't in my cards to have a life outside of Supergirl?"

"You can, Kara. You make a difference with your work at Catco-" J'onn attempted to say before she glided past him.

"It's never good enough, nothing I do is ever good enough," she shouted over her shoulder before rocketing away from National City. She needed to go somewhere where no one would care or even notice, someplace where she would be free from judgment and prying eyes.

Who cared if someone saw her confrontation with J'onn? Not Kara. The media would in no doubt spin it into a story about how **_‘Supergirl screams at the Martian Man Hunter, one can only assume it is about the death of Lena Luthor.'_**

Kara slowed her pace, enjoying the cool night sky as her cape billowing in the wind. She allowed herself to enjoy the flight, watching the ground bellow roll by as it changed from sprawling city to stretched out towns and subdivisions. The occasional fields filled with cows and other farm life and houses in the middle of nowhere.  
J'onn, out of everyone in her life, knew better than anyone what it was like to lose the most important people to him. How hard was it for him to understand that she just couldn't let it go? He had hundreds of years to mourn when Lena hadn't even been gone for a month?

Kara was so focused on burning off her anger, she almost flew straight into a plane. Even after hours of flying around, Kara's head was still spinning from her barrage of thoughts. Her mind circled back once more to the obsessive articles that were more concerned with squandering Lena's reputation and implanting as many false rumors to the public as possible. They were distracting the people from the truth, keeping the toxic mentality undeniably strong that the Luthors are bad news.

Maybe it was time for Kara to pursue the truth and justice most humanly, writing a report unlike any other. She picked up her speed, as a newfound spark-ignited such raw passion she had not felt in a long time. Kara was going to do Lena justice, to show people that she was a fantastic person.

How Kara was going to sing Lena's praises without sounding biased was going to be a challenge, but one that she would have to overcome to be able to shine a light on all the good she has done. The humans needed to know how much Lena had done to save their precious Supergirl and the world as they know it.

"I won't let them forget you, I won't let them pass you down as just another villain, but a hero in your own right," Kara said as her lip quivered, taking the little diamond star in both hands. She closed her eyes as tears escaped, dripping down her cheeks as she quietly declared herself, "I will find whoever did this and make them pay."  
Kara turned to face the sky above, her back facing the ground as she floated at an easy pace, eyes following the moon as it started to slowly descend from its peak as she slowly made her way back to National City.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An Undisclosed Location on the side of a Mountain

Lena leaned against the balcony of her cabin, staring up at the late-night sky. She had hardly slept since coming here, partially because she was motivated in solving who was attacking them, mainly Lena was debilitatingly homesick.

At first, she thought she was getting anxious about missing on L-Corp business but she had made more progress in some old inventions than she ever did in that stuffy office. Ultimately, Lena was bored. She was being driven crazy by the lack of company and by the boring repetitiveness of the lawsuits and threats. Lena was fed up and forced herself to take a short break, shoving her hands in her hoodie pocket as a chilled wind rolled off the mountain peaks and hit her side of the mountain in full effect.

Lena found something she had forgotten something important. Hiding in the pocket the hoodie she was wearing was a matching necklace, similar to the one she had left Kara. Was it too much? Probably, but she didn't know how long she would be in hiding… And it would help with the reality of the situation.

She knew if Kara had the slightest inclination that she was alive, she would stop at nothing to find her. And she just couldn't have that, because where Kara went Supergirl usually wasn't far behind. Damn, she fucking missed her friend. She was so lonely out here and just wanted to talk to Kara, Lena regretted not telling her. There was nothing she could do now though, she had to wait.

At least Alex was on her way, it will be helpful to have a neutral eye look through the ‘maybe' pile. Lena was beginning to think that Alex was right, not that she would ever say it to her face; but the media was running rampant with rumors and completely inaccurate stories. She had been waiting anxiously for Kara to publish something, anything, but the reporter had remained completely silent. Even Supergirl, someone whom she had a stormy relationship with, hadn't said anything. Come to think of it, Supergirl had gone completely off-grid.

Not only was Lena being dragged, but anyone that was associated with her was being slandered. Both Supergirl and Kara had their fair share of mentions, although Kara was usually labeled as the "no-name reporter that Miss Luthor kept around to write articles to fluff up her ego" amongst other things.

Those morons will feel embarrassed and ashamed when she comes out of the smoke, alive and well. Lena was constantly fearing that someone will knock down the door and blow her cover, but she was considerably more worried about how Kara was handling everything. Alex would be able to tell her how Kara was doing, Lena was hoping that she wasn't too bad. She imagined she was already back at work, typing away furiously as she pumped out some article about the latest alien crisis. She was so motivated, so determined and passionate…

A single knock on the door distracted Lena from her thoughts, briefly scaring her until she realized that it was Alex. That was their code, so simple even a genius wouldn't even figure it out. A single knock to signal that it was Alex at the door and not some stranger.

Lena glanced at the moon one last time before greeting Alex. She was relieved to see that she brought along a big bag of groceries since Lena was living off of ramen noodles and crackers.

"Oh thank god, I never knew how much I missed human contact after being stuck in this safe house for weeks on end. And thank you, for bringing food, I am forever grateful," Lena said as she locked the door behind Alex.

"I can imagine, I got some fresh veggies and some actual meals," Alex shrugged, putting the bag on the counter. She glanced around the safehouse which was in a messy state, papers were scattered everywhere. There were pencils and highlighters, sticky notes and notepads covering every spare space.

"Damn Lena, this is like finding a needle in a haystack," the DEO director groaned as she carefully stepped around the papers to remove her coat and shoes.

"This is barely a fifth of the possibilities, okay? I shifted through so many fucking papers you wouldn't believe... I've done the bulk of the work, now it's just time to match up people with the motivation with the consistency in the case," Lena pointed out despondently, wincing as her back ached at the thought of the countless hours bent over the endless stacks of paper.

"Okay, let's knock out as much as possible and I'll have Brainy run through whatever we have narrowed down," Alex said with a thoughtful nod. "What are you looking for in particular?"

"Anyone that has enough causation to lash out not just at me, but the people in my life," Lena replied, sighing helplessly at the sea of papers loose around the safe house.

“Lena, this is like finding a needle in a stack of razors,” Alex groaned,”You got zealots that hate aliens, hard working citizens that hate your brother, and the countless people Lilian and Lex ruined in their tyrad against aliens. And people just hate how you’re running L-Corp.”

“We need someone with opportunity, motivation, accessibility to poison and the materials for the bomb that blew up your car,” Lena replied thoughtfully.

“I will run some diagnostics later and see how I can connect them with our findings,” Alex agreed, although definitely not pleased by task ahead of them.

Lena nodded and said, “How about this, I’ll cook something up if you want to take a look at what I gathered already? My brain is completely fried and I need an easy change of pace, even if it’s just warming up some chicken, or whatever you brough.”

“I brought plenty, make what you want. I’ll start rummaging through your hurricane of papers,” she nudged a stack of papers gently with her foot.

“I have a system!” Lena mumbled, picking through the groceries Alex brought her.

“How on earth is it that you run a multi-billion dollar company if you can’t even have an organization method to sort papers?” Alex scoffed, examining a section of papers.

“I have my ways,” she shrugged. Lena searched through the cabinets until she found a pan of the desired size.

“Alex, I just want to say thank you,” Lena added, glancing over her  
shoulder. “Truly, I am in debt to you. I definitely would have done it myself but having the director of the DEO in my corner is unbelievably helpful.”

“You don’t owe me anything, just remember this when things get hard. I’ll be honest, at first I mainly did this for Kara. Somehow, this person feels it to be their responsibility to kill you and my sister, a sediment I’m not too fond of. The more I thought about it, the more it makes sense that I join you in this foolish crusade because let’s face it, two heads are better than one,” Alex said with surprising earnest.

“I can’t blame you, I’m not the most desired option for a best friend to anyone's family member,” Lena saw what seemed like amusement pass through Alex’s eyes for a split second, “It doesn’t look good on their reputation when their best friend is a Luthor. I appreciate how you and Kara accepted me into your unique little family of misfits.” She was extremely curious at why Alex was now smiling to herself, something about her statement was very amusing.

“Lena, you do realize you’re one of the most important people in Kara’s life, right? You two have something special, I’ve never seen her like this around any of her other friends. I’d do anything for Kara, hence me being here in the middle of nowhere shifting through an ungodly amount of papers. I wouldn’t do this for anyone,” she replied after a moment of consideration.  
Alex’s words warmed her heart, temporarily chasing away her fears that Kara would never forgive her, “So there’s a chance she won’t hate me?”

“She is going to be beyond angry at both of us for a while, but eventually she’ll get over it. Eventually. Don’t worry too much about the future, stay focused on the present,” Alex advised wisely, flipping through Lena’s notes.

“I suppose that’s true,” Lena half heartedly agreed. Alex’s words didn’t quell her anxiety about the future, sharpening her fear to a suffocating degree. She had far too much to lose if Kara didn’t forgive her, even with Alex telling her to be optimistic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rewatching supergirl for the first time ever, especially since I hopped onto the supercorp train about 7 or 8 months back. It is a MISTAKE because  
> 1) Season 1 is superior  
> 2) i'm too gay for the women of Supergirl  
> 3) what the FUCK happened to James? He was a good character in s1??? (this is NOT about the actor)  
> 4) i'm getting baited so hardcore, s5 is gonna be a whirl wind  
> 5) fucking EVE has had to deal this shit for YEARS and its hilarious


	4. road to recovery (and revenge)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara drunk calls Alex and reveals some surprising information to an unexpected Lena on the eve of her article releasing that went into depth of Lena's life, revealing a closeness to the public that would only encourage rumors.  
> \--  
> Kara deals with a hangover and a call from an old friend. Oh, Nia also has a vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [screams into the abyss] i have no idea what i'm doing with my life jesus fucking christ

The next four days passed in a blink of the eye, Lena and Alex were having some level of fun as they slowly dwindled down the numbers. She didn’t really know Kara’s sister too well, just of her work with the DEO and Supergirl. Sometimes she wondered how much Kara knew about what was really going on with her sister’s top level job that was riddled with secrets. 

Lena assumed it was the overwhelming stress that brought the two women together, aided by the general lack of sleep and frankly boredom. Alex was actually very interesting, she was shockingly easy to talk to and was insightful about a part of Kara’s life she wasn’t too open about; her teenage years with the Danvers.

“I can’t wait for this to be over… Fucking hell,” Lena groaned as she balled up a scrap of paper and tossed it into the fire behind her. “I’m beginning to miss the simple things, like preparing to fight with a bunch of bullheaded business men or locking myself in my lab as I procrastinate dealing with those same men.” She slowly stood up, wincing at the stiffness in her limbs.

“And distracting my sister when she has an important deadline due,” Alex teased with an omniscient smirk, her eyes begging for Lena to challenge her. 

Lena smacked Alex lightly on the side of the head with a pillow as she stepped over her. She was sprawled out on a mound of blankets in front of the fire, papers in an organized mess all around her.

“I don’t have the slightest inclination what you’re talking about,” Lena protested, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks as a blush promptly formed. Thankfully, Lena was out of sight and the elder Danvers sister could not see her flustered features.

“Ha,” Alex chuckled, perhaps a little too amused by her response, “You forgot I talk to my sister daily and she tells me everything. Probably too much, in fact.” She shuddered at a mysterious memory of something Lena would never know.

“There isn’t anything to tell,” Lena pointed out, hoping that Alex didn’t notice her hesitation. 

“What were those 3am calls filled with giggles and whispers for exactly? Kara has also told me that Snapper almost fired her multiple times because she skipped out to have brunch with you. Kara, who is normally on time for girls night, has ran extremely late for some suspicious reason that she just giggles away. Don’t even get me started on how many plans she canceled to meet up with y-” 

“Okay! Okay, you’ve made your point,” she interrupted Alex with a forced laugh. “Do you want anything while I’m up?” Lena added, expertly changing the subject away from Kara. She was feeling snackish, not enough for an entire meal but needed to calm the rumble in her belly with something.

“Fuck it, we’re almost done. Bring me whatever alcohol you have,” Alex shouted a little too eagerly. 

Lena was searching for wine glasses when she heard Alex shuffle around some papers and an abrupt, “Hey, Kara. What’s up?”

She spun around on her heels immediately, glasses in hand and a bottle of wine in the other, staring at Alex with wide eyes. Alex, like the smartass she is, met her with challenge in her eyes; begging Lena to do something.

“Did you know that a lot of owners leave the room when they put down their pet? How sad is that?” Kara’s voice was loud over the speaker phone, even hundreds of miles away made her heart skip a couple beats. Even over the fuzzy phone call, her tone sounded off, maybe it was because Lena hadn’t heard it in awhile but it could have been something else.

“Kara? Are you… Drunk?” Alex gapped, visibly and audibly sounding extremely shocked. 

In the years since Lena has known Kara, she had never seen that girl drunk. She wasn’t big on alcohol, every now and then she would have a glass with Lena but never drunk. 

“Pffttt, no,” there was incoherent giggling on the other end. 

Lena ignored the spike of jealousy in her gut as Alex responded with a smirk, “Are you with someone?”

“NO! Of course not!” Kara sounded offended as if Alex accused her of something atrocious, “We already had that ‘versation. I’ma die alone, why try’n court someone when they’re just gonna leave me??”

“Fuck,’’ she whispered audibly, Kara’s words brutally slashing through Lena like a bullet straight in her heart.  
Alex shook her head urgently as if that single word was going to expose her. Lena didn’t have enough heart left to say anything anyways; every breath she took caused excruciating aching right in her chest. 

“Hey, I’m here for you Kara. So is Nia, and Brainy, J’onn-” Alex was trying to stay calm, but she was also getting visibly upset and nervous even as Kara cut her off.

“You know what he told me?? He told me to use her-her… her death as motivation,” Kara scoffed, adding a mocking half laugh on tail end of the sentence.

“I’m sure you are misunderstanding what he was saying-” she tried to get a word in but Kara simply wasn’t having it. 

“Sure, I may have used my emotions to fuel my article, but Snapper sent it back. Toldme to redo it all. Start on step one, you gotta snag their attention with smartly words and a reason to care. Said it reads too much like an eulogy,” Kara sniffled over the phone, “So i did. I wrote it all over again and submitted it, he approved it. Tomrrow everyone’s gonna read it.”

“That’s good Kara! That’s really good,” their eyes met; Alex’s eyes were dark and unfortunately too well hidden to reveal anything about why she was so concerned. 

“Ha! Maybe therapeutically. But after people read it in themorning? Theey’ll know that she was an ally to Supergirl. And then theres gonna be more rumors, worse than before. And then the attentions gonna be on me,” Kara struggled through that sentence, it sounded like she was choking back tears.

“Who cares? You did good Kara, take the win. I assume you’re at the bar, so walk home and sleep this off. Walk. There isn’t anything you can do except wait,” Alex dipped her head to Lena; almost as if trying to communicate something. She looked down at Lena’s hands that rested at her neck (with the necklace in hand) and then back up at the elder Danvers with a soft frown. 

Now her hands were in angry sweater paws that were tightened into balls and were also stained with tears. She didn’t even know that she was crying, but here she was. With unsteady legs, Lena sat down next to Alex. Her entire body was trembling now as she bit her tongue to keep quiet.   
There was so much, too much, that she wanted to say, shit, that she needed to say. She felt a hand on top of hers, squeezing it to comfort her as Lena breathed unevenly as she tried to be silent. There is no coming back from this? Is there?

“Waitings’ impossible, ya know I am not the most patient. I’m sick of waitin’, because everywhere around me I see people that are happy. I can’t have what Clark and Lois do, or what you and Kelly do. Brainy and Nia, I’m gonna be alone forever,” Kara’s voice was barely over a whisper now.   
Alex managed to calm herself down enough “Your soulmate is out there, Kara. Somewhere.” She looked dead into Lena’s eyes, almost as if she was peering into her very being. Lena blinked, completely missing what Alex was trying to communicate. 

“I’m destined to be alone because I’m-”   
Oddly enough, it was Alex that cut her off, “You are Kara Danvers, a brilliant reporter that is changing the world with your articles. You fight battles in ways not everyone can, by exposing the truth. You’re work with Catco has transformed lives and still can. You’ll get through this.”

“Preach to me when the source of your humanity dies,” Kara snarled, suddenly sounded aggressive, completely out of character from the gentle and harmless Kara Danvers she knew.   
Alex was shocked to the point where she was completely wordless, she had no idea what to say to that. 

“That’s what I thought! Imagine losing the most important person in your life, and then bam! You realize that maybe, just maybe, the reason why it feels like your entire world is destroyed and you feel hopeless is because those feelings weren’t platonic. Too bad she had to die for you to realize what you were feeling is real and there isn’t anything you can do about it now that they’re gone forever,” Kara rambled on as if this revelation was common knowledge, her voice trembling and patchy as her crying got worse.

Lena on the other hand, felt sick to her stomach yet strangely elated at the same time, completely flustered and burning up. Alex pulled Lena in for a hug as the silent sobbing grew uncontrollable. Wordless and in horror, she watched and waited for 

“Never know how much you cared for something until it’s gone,” Alex said softly to both Kara and Lena, “I’ll be home in the morning. I’m catching the first flight out, okay? We’ll get you through this, together. Whether you like it or not.”

“I loved her, and now she’s gone. I can’t have you leaving me too,” she whimpered pathetically. 

“Kara, drink some water, try and sleep. I love you,” the elder Danvers sister murmured gently into the speaker. 

“Love you too,” Kara grumbled before the call ended. 

“What the fuck? What the fuck?” Lena sobbed, leaning into Alex’s comforting embrace. “What the absolute fuck am I supposed to do with this? Why aren’t you reacting at all?”

“Lena, I’m an elite agent with an expertise in analyzing speech patterns and body language. Also, I’m not fucking blind, quite unlike the two of you,” she whispered gently, not without that slight amusement in her tone, “But I’ve never seen her like this, not even when Mon-el had to leave. She’s emotional, she’s lashing out, she has never been the best at keeping those feelings in check. Don’t take it personally, we’ll patch things up soon enough.”

“She’s never going to want to talk to me again,” Lena shuddered, fighting back the urge to throw up with every ounce she had. “I don’t blame her either. I asked for it.”

“Lena, once everything settles down and you both hash this out everything will be okay. Believe it or not, I genuinely think that if the two of you are completely honest with each other, things will fix itself,” Alex said earnestly, a flicker in her eyes gave Lena doubt that she was hiding something. 

“I can only trust that you’re right, because these next days, weeks, or months, until this is over I will be dying every day knowing that she’s suffering,” Lena glanced at Alex, her vision blurred from tears and totally exhaustion. “You’re oddly confident that we’ll recover our lost friendship. What aren’t you telling me?”

Alex grew quiet, chugging a concerning amount of alcohol in one gulp before holding Lena’s accusatory stare, “Lena, this isn’t something for me say.

“So there is something?” Lena narrowed her eyes and lifted her chin to Alex, challenging her to say more.  
She glanced away, her eyes shifting towards the window and to the lowering moon outside. Alex rubbed her temple as she fought with herself about whatever she was hiding. Her eyes revealed nothing but a storm of conflict as the agent struggled with something inside of herself. 

“How bad can it be? Kara and I don’t keep much from each other- excluding those whole situation,” Lena croaked. She had a sickly foreboding feeling in her stomach as Alex’s face grew concerned and scared.

“Lena, please don’t make me. This isn’t my secret to tell, understand that,” Alex sighed heavily, still refusing to look her in the eye.

Lena pushed Alex away from her since clearly she wasn’t being honest. In her exhausted and emotional state, Lena was growing frustrated with not just Alex, but the universe. Wiping away her tears, Lena turned her back to Alex and grumbled harshly, “Just leave. Get back to your sister, she needs you now. Come back when you get results, I’ll start looking through the people that have launched an attack on anyone in the Luthor family for motivation.”

“Lena, you’re not making this any easier,” Alex sounded potentially tempted, almost as if she was going to spill what she was hiding. 

“You’re welcome to go, I suppose I’ll just have to wait and hear this super secret from Kara. You know, it could be months or longer,” Lena headed to the kitchen and rinsed off her face with cold water, feeling cool against her burning skin. 

“I just think that it would be best coming from Kara because I sincerely feel that it would potentially strengthen your relationship once this is all over. She’s going to be beyond infuriated with both of us, but she hasn’t been completely honest about something with you either and it may even the field,” Alex put her hand on Lena’s shoulder.

“What? What giant secret could she have that matches up with something as instrumental as faking my death?” Lena whirled around, fire burning in her chest as she glared up at Alex. “Apparently she’s queer and I didn’t know about it, but it sounds like she didn’t either. Not exactly a secret either.”

“No, this has nothing to do with her sexuality,” Alex groaned and once again hesitated.

“Then what could it possibly be? Is he back in the picture?” Lena questioned, hoping to whatever god there was that her awful Daximite boyfriend hadn’t returned and never would. 

Alex surprised Lena by laughing and shaking her head, “God no, he’s gone and not coming back.” She quickly grew serious though, resuming her stern posture, “You forgot that I grew up with the infamous puppy dog eyes, nothing is going to work on me. I’m sorry Lena, but I cannot tell you.”

“Fuck, you’re right. It’s not like I risked my company and pretty much everything to find whoever is targeting Kara,” Lena shrugged nonchalantly, trying to tug at her sympathy strings.

“Lena, I work at a clandestine government agency that cleans up whatever mess Supergirl as attracted to National City. Nothing you say or do will get me to tell you a secret that is not mine to spill,” Alex folded her arms across her chest, firm on her stance.

“Fine,” Lena rolled her eyes, faking a yawn as an excuse for her to leave, “I’m dead tired, so you’re welcome to head to the airport. Give Brainy my thanks.”

“Really Lena? You’re going to act like a spoiled teenager whose parents told her to get a job? You’re going to thank me someday by keeping this from you,” Alex visibly winced, as if finding her own words false. 

“Well if you’re not going to tell me, and we don’t really have much else to go on at the moment, than why don’t you leave? Kara obviously needs you,” she replied, taking a long sip of wine.

“Jesus fuck Lena. Just stay safe okay? If you go outside, be careful. Relax a little bit since I am sure that this is the closest to a vacation you’re ever going to get,” Alex wasn’t going to fuel her flame anymore and grabbed a water for the road before leaving, letting the door slam behind her. 

“What could Kara possibly be hiding?” Lena spoke to herself in a now empty safehouse. The ominous secret was going to fucking eat her alive, especially when she considered that she was stuck here for the foreseeable future,” Lena rumbled to herself, staring at the wine is at moved with her as she stepped over the chaotic mess left in their wake.

“And here I am, talking to myself because my mind is fucking fried from staring at tiny texts for nearly four fucking days,” Lena groaned and took a gulp of red wine. 

Looking down at the whirlwind of papers, Lena heart sank as it was anchored down with discouragement. She was going to be trapped forever, wasn’t she? She didn’t properly consider any alternative course of actions nor its consequences but now she was stuck with it. Her name was being dragged through the mud, although when wasn’t it? Her best friend was into her, so Lena had to process her own conflicting feelings about her best friend on top of finding who was trying to kill them. 

“Semantics,” Lena mumbled and turned away from the mess. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeless. She didn’t know what to do anymore, the only option left was to sleep and hope something came to her when she awoke. Maybe a good night's sleep would help clear her head, she didn’t have any meetings or business decisions to make, for the first time in her life, Lena was free. She could relax and not feel guilty that she wasn’t working. Maybe in a couple days time she would take another look through the people that had already lashed out at the Luthor’s to search for motivation, but Lena needed to refresh her brain and body instead of straining it. 

At the sight of the bed, Lena realized that her entire body was aching. Her head was pounding and she hardly had an ounce of energy left. She dragged herself into bed, curling up into a tight ball. It didn’t take long for Lena to drift off into a heavy sleep, filled with fitful dreams about featured Kara amongst other things.

\---- --- -- -- -- -- -- --- --- --- ----- -----

Kara awoke to an ear piercing screech as her alarm demanded for attention. Lately, she would just chuck it across the room and stay in bed until one of her friends came over to check on her. 

She groaned, tasting bile and with the combined feeling of nauseous when she sat up, Kara recollected that she had more than enough alcohol last night. Even though she could hardly walk without throwing up, Kara forced herself to dress for work. For some unknown reason, she felt like she was prepared to go into work for the first time since. 

“Oh Rao,” Kara checked her phone to see an opened email that she didn’t remember opening from Snapper. 

Re: Legacy of a Luthor

You’re cutting it close, Danvers. You’re lucky that I postponed this issue to a delayed release… Congratulations. You made front cover. Get yourself back to work. 

-Snapper.

Kara completely forgot that she had submitted her final draft for her article a couple days ago and hadn’t heard back from Snapper. Assuming this month’s magazine was released, well, today, she assumed that she missed her opportunity. 

So her first day back at work and Kara was going to be facing the repercussions of an article she wrote when she was emotionally distraught? Ingenious on Kara’s behave.

Never had she written something so quickly to the point where she couldn’t remember exactly what she wrote. Apparently it was decent enough if Snapper approved it after only declining it once.   
For some odd reason, Kara could have sworn that she talked with Alex and sure enough, she had. The call lasted for a mere 13 minutes, but so much could have been said in such little time. 

For someone with superhuman abilities, Kara couldn’t remember a damn thing about the last 12 hours. That alien ale really did a number on her and here she is preparing to go into work with a mind numbing pain.

“This is an awful idea,” Kara grumbled as she put her hair up in a high ponytail. She could just as easily hop back in bed, but Kara couldn’t stay in her apartment forever. She had to face the music, not just for herself but for Lena. 

Lena was the reason she was a reporter after all, what better way to make her proud then to do her job properly? There was still injustice in the world that Supergirl couldn’t fix with violence, but that Kara Danvers could mend with words.

* * *

Kara stumbled into work, trying her hardest to take it slow and limit her movements in fear of vomiting (and a failing attempt to pass off that she was sober). On a normal day, everyone ignored her since they were busy with their own work to notice a bubbly girl make her way to her desk, but not this time. Since the second she stepped into the building, all eyes were on her. 

She wasn’t sure if it had to do with whatever she wrote, but Kara was certain it was because of Lena. Dozens of sympathetic eyes followed her as she made her way up to the editorial level. She kept her head down to avoid meeting any of the judgemental stares of her coworkers because she knew she would start crying.

Kara would have ran straight into Snapper if he hadn’t spoken to her first, “Miss Danvers, delighted to see you actually showed up to work. From now on, submit your papers in person please, that was a one time deal. No more special treatment. Get back to work.” 

She didn’t verbally respond, she just nodded enthusiastically and sat down at her desk. It was a nice break for someone to treat her like an adult rather than baby her unlike pretty much everyone else in her life. Kara breathed a sigh of relief as Nia came from the breakroom, a box of donuts and coffee in hand. 

“I had a feeling you’d be in today!” She chirped with a wide smile, setting down the donuts and coffee on her desk. 

“Sshh,” Kara groaned, closing her eyes as she readjusted her hearing. Her senses were particularly sensitive when she was hungover, apparently. 

“It’s such a relief to see you out of the house! Any chance you’re also coming back as Supergirl?” She added that last part with a very low whisper.

“Yeah, well. I had to get off my butt eventually, sulking around my apartment wasn’t helping me get better,” Kara grumbled, demolishing off a donut in one mouthful. “I don’t know, maybe? I owe J’onn an apology, plus Alex gets back today from her mission. If anything I can use a refresher and some exercise. We can pick up our training where we left off.”

“Yes!” Nia cheered a little too loudly, lowering her voice as Kara winced, “Your article was something else, Kara. Simply beautiful, informing the world that Lena wasn’t the Luthor the rest of the world chalked her up as being. People are already admitting that maybe they fell for a false narrative since they wanted to believe she was just as bad as her family. It was easy, you know? To believe that someone is evil and blaming them for all the issues in the world instead of the actual evil behind it.” 

“If I can change a few minds than it’s worth it,” Kara feebly smiled up at Nia. It didn’t last long as some jackass named Justin that was a fresh reporter approached her, his demeanor aggressive with every step closer. 

“Go away,” Nia said immediately, stepping in front of Kara as if she would be a very efficient shield.

“This has nothing to do with you, Nal. I have some questions for our shining star that can miss work for nearly a month and then resurface at the last second with a horrible article praising Lena Luthor. I can’t believe Snapper ran it, it clearly read as someone mourning their dead lover, not an impartial intellectual writing an article stating facts about a vile woman who only cared for profit,” he spat, pushing Nia aside to get in Kara’s face,   
“Everyone with eyes could see you were infatuated with her. Snapper should have let someone like me write the exposè on Lena, that way it would be unbiased and fair.”

Justin was a known xenophobic ass that Snapper kept around to balance out Catco reports, on more than one occasion had he said horrible things about Lena because he didn’t like the pro alien approach she was taking Catco. 

“Me? The biased one? You hated Lena ever since she bought Catco because she actually acknowledged me and ignored your sexist ass. You’re just jealous that he ran my article and not yours, as I’m sure it’s filled with false ‘facts’ and not nearly as neutral as you like to think. Get out of my face before you regret it,” Kara’s head cleared as rage boiled in her chest. She held her tongue though, knowing that it was either going to be a blast of cold air or some very unfriendly words that would follow. 

Her cellphone rang loudly and Justin laughed dryly in response, “Oh! A magical phone call, it was nice while it lasted. Time for you to dash off to God knows where just like you do pretty much anytime you get a call.”

Kara ignored him and checked the name card, expecting it to be Alex calling to say that she was back in National City. Instead, it was from someone she hadn’t talked too in a long while. With a smirk, she answered the phone with forced politeness, “Miss Grant. It’s nice to hear from you.”

Justin’s eyes widened and he promptly stormed off in the direction of Snapper’s office, likely to whine about something or another.

“Yes, how nice of me to take time out of my busy day to check in on my personal protege?” Kara had never heard Cat Grant use the ‘p’ word with anyone, except for maybe Clark. She didn’t sound drunk, but this was Cat Grant she was talking too, so it was still plausible. She excused herself to the balcony where she could have a private conversation away from prying ears.

“I will say I am impressed, you went on a three week hiatus and came back with a surprisingly spectacular piece. Your Legacy paper was simply astonishing, a little too personal and positive for my taste but that poor girl’s name was being torched more than a woman in Salem,” Cat said, her natural charisma just as potent over the phone. Oh Rao, she really freaking missed Cat Grant right now. If she was still here, just Cat’s presence in the room would have snapped Kara out of her funk within seconds.

“Oh, thank you Miss Grant, I-” Kara started to rumble, she wasn’t used to compliments from Cat so she really knew this was something special. 

“Keir-ah, I am truly sorry for your loss. I may not have been friends with Ms. Luthor, but I admired her determination in using her deranged brother’s company with the intention for good. I was getting sick of all those clickbait articles paid for by business men trying scrutinize her name and damage L-Corp’s stocks,” she said with clear annoyance in her tone. 

“I wanted to make her proud, I couldn’t let everything Lena worked so hard for go to waste because people love to hate Luthors,” Kara confessed, digging through her cloudy memory to find some recollection of what she had written. Her heart was racing with the abundance of praise, such she had never heard for herself come from the typically harsh Cat Grant. 

“I truly am sorry for your loss,” Cat’s voice turned from complementary to intrigued sympathy, “I did not know you two were so… close.” The way she carefully approached the last sentence, the way she hung onto that last word as if implying heavy implications felt… weird to Kara. But Cat was always weirdly good at seeing things that may or may not have been there.

“She was my best friend,” Kara shrugged, blinking away tears that started to form. “She deserves for the world to see the good she’s done, whether they want to believe it or not.” That’s what they were after all, close friends. Nothing more, nothing less. 

“Don’t be coy, Kara,” she could hear Cat roll her eyes over the phone, “I watched you yearn for Olsen for months until you missed your shot. You gave up your boyfriend to rid the world of those Daximite scum, and I respect that. Life is equal parts experience as it is heroism, your work is important but don’t forget to live a little. Learn from your past failures and allow love in, none of us can do this alone.”

Kara’s lip trembled as she fathomed enough courage for a response, “Miss Grant, I don’t know what to do anymore now that she’s gone.” She fiddled with her glasses as her anxiety grew tenfold as she pondered where Cat was going with this.

“You put yourself back together. You go back to work. The world doesn’t stop for one person, it keeps on spinning. Lena Luthor would be proud of you, but there are more people that need your skills to show their truths when no one else will,” Cat said, any sympathy she had vanished. Back to business Cat Grant. 

“I know, and I will try… It’s so hard though, I miss her so much,” she croaked. Kara knew her hands were shaking as she fought back tears. She was so determined to make it through the day without crying, but here she was. “She’ll never know how important she is to me.”

“Keira, we all lose people. You’ve lost more than most, yet you still prevail. You never let it stop you before, why now? What changed between the last time you dated some boy and Lena’s rather untimely death?” Cat asked gently, a tone she wasn’t used to.

“I don’t know,” Kara mumbled half-heartedly. Something that Cat said sparked a subdued memory from early this morning from what she assumed was the phone call with Alex. Whilst hazy, she was able to grasp a few fragments of the conversation that were equal parts alarming as it was heartbreaking that it took Lena’s death for her to realize it. 

“Yes you do. Say it, it will help you more than you know. Speaking it into existence makes it real and you have to face it or else it’s always going to be there in the back of your mind,” she wasn’t asking Kara to say it, Cat was demanding her to say whatever was on her mind. 

“Because I still love her,” Kara said in a whisper. Saying it sober was definitely different than saying it drunk at 3am to her sister. It made it real, it was undeniable now, “I love Lena Luthor and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Cat, for the first time in Kara’s life, was speechless. It took her a minute to gather a response before she was able to say, “Good. Death is a wound that only time can heal, so join a gym or punch a car. Talk to your friends, this is not something you should be ashamed of. They can help you through this. Unfortunately I have to go before the idiots running this country say something to piss the other idiots with missile Do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything, dear.” 

“Thank you, Miss Grant. I really needed this,” Kara found herself rubbing the necklace carefully as to not break it.

“Of course, and if you need a break of National City, you’ll always have a place as my assistant in DC,” Cat replied briskly, Kara was genuinely warmed by her offer. 

“Thanks, I may just take you up on that,” her smile fading as the call ended.

“Who was that?” Nia had stepped out onto the balcony just as Cat hung up.

“Cat Grant, she mentored me. Inspired me to become a reporter,” she said distractedly, her gaze searching the city. Instead of focusing on Miss Grant’s little pep talk, there was a little root of doubt that was planted with how she had worded a couple sentences. Kara narrowed her eyes as something Cat said caught up to her, something that didn’t make sense. 

“We work at Catco, Kara. I know who Cat Grant is!” Nia noticed that Kara appeared distressed. “I know she’s crass, but what could she have said to upset you?”

“Before the Daximites attacked, Rhea kidnapped my boyfriend at the time and Lena. I told Cat -as Supergirl- that two of the most important people were up in that ship. She inspired me to go against the president’s orders and save them,” Kara said as a light switch finally flickered on, “Oh Rao…”

“Kara?” Nia prompted, leaning against the railing next to her.

“As if things can’t get any worse, the Queen of Media knows who I am- er, who Supergirl is. Me. She suspected once before but I thought we fixed it. Apparently not,” Kara groaned, the world around her started to spin. “Why didn’t she tell me? Cat isn’t one to keep something like this to herself.”

“Maybe she respects you enough, you’re a hard working woman trying to make a name for herself. Don’t stress about it, from the sound of it she has known for awhile and potentially slipped up to subtly tell you that she knows. Maybe to show that Supergirl has an ally in Cat Grant,” Nia offered hopefully, although the doubt in her eyes betrayed her inner thoughts.

“She’s kept my secret for this long, I know Cat. I don’t think she would reveal anything, I can’t stress about this now. I’ve got more things to worry about then Ms. Grant. Like finding Lena’s killer,” Kara would bring it up to Alex and see what she suggested, but that was an issue for later. She wasted enough time sitting on her ass while Lena’s murderer was loose. She could safely assume it was the same person that had been attacking them recently.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, but I wanted to wait until you were ready…” Nia trailed off, glancing at Kara with a worried frown.

“Nia? What are you saying?” Kara perked up, hoping that her dream powers had made some connection to the killer. 

“I had a dream about a fox with steel fur, leading me through a dark forest until we came upon an abandoned building. I tried following it until the entire building, but when the fox darted into the building it went up in flames. Out of those flames a man skyrocketed into the sky,” Nia explained with careful detail, “This wasn’t one night worth of dreams, it took Brainy’s help and a whole lot of time to focus and piece it together.”

“Rao, Nia! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Kara immediately knew that she would talk to Clark and see if he may remember this particular incident. 

“It was Brainy, he knew there was a chance that you would recklessly try and find them on your own. We agreed that when you seemed to be in the right headspace than we’d tell you,” she said defensively, glancing at Kara with worry in her eyes.

“And who are you two to decide if I’m in the ‘right headspace’? Am I not allowed to grieve for my best friend?” Kara hissed, feeling the uncontrollable rage surfacing again. She really needed to reign herself back in, but Kara could feel her anger slipping through her fingers. 

“No, we just didn’t want you to do anything stupid. Let’s face it, Kara, you sometimes let your emotions guide your choices,” Nia warned, not backing down from her decision to hide her visions from Kara. 

Kara frowned as she examined Nia’s expression. She was genuine, her eyebrows knitted close together. Kara didn’t doubt her good intentions, but she still should have told her, but deep down she knew they were right. Kara had no intention of being trapped by the legal ramifications of the DEO, she was already planning to follow this lead on her own.

“And who are you to judge my actions? You have no idea what I’ve gone through to get here, the people I’ve lost. Every time I let my guard down as things get good, something happens,” something inside of Kara just snapped and the flood gates were open. There was no going back now. She was sick of people telling her what she could and couldn’t do, treating her like a child. 

“I may not have lost as many people as you have, Kara, but I’ve lost my mother!” Nia sniped back with a renewed fire in her eyes, “I understand being confused, I understand how it feels when the world says one thing when there is something inside of you that says otherwise. Just… just don’t let this change you. I’ve seen what loss does to people first hand.”

Kara was taken by surprise by Nia’s new sense of confidence and ability to talk back to her. Of course she felt bad, she was there when Nia’s mother died and her sister basically disowned her and as far as she knew, they hadn’t mended their relationship since. 

“I’ve got work to do,” she said quietly, turning her back to Nia. Did she actually have work to do? No, not really. National City’s criminal underbelly was slow at the moment which meant no Supergirl and no story.

Kara spent the next four and a half hours trying to find anything related to a steel fox or an explosion and a fox but was running out of patience. She had immediately reached out to Clark, but he still wasn’t answering his phone. That was until now, her chat log automatically popped up.

[Kara] This is a long shot, but do you remember a particular incident with an explosion with a building that had a fox logo? Maybe Luthor related?  
[Clark] Oh gosh, that goes back a long time ago. That was back when Lex started to sink into his radical and violent beliefs. If I’m correct, it was a building for the company he owned called “Vixen Steel Industries”. He exploded the building in an attempt to kill me, killing a dozen people in the process.   
[Kara] Oh… Rao. That’s horrible. I can’t find anything about Vixen Steel online though?  
[Clark] Lex buried it after the incident, he managed to stage it as an accident. Obviously now people suspect it was him, but back then no one had a reason to believe that Lex could be responsible for this. I’ll dig into it and see if I can find some names for you.   
[Kara] You have no idea how much helps, thank you!  
[Clark] Of course, how are you doing?  
[Kara] Better, I think. There’s this rage inside of me I can’t get rid of, but if I can get justice for her than…  
[Clark] I understand, I don’t know what I would do if this happened to Lois. Just stay safe, don’t forget you have friends to help you. You’ll get through this, trust me. 

Kara stared at his message, the way he worded it made it seem like he compared Lois to Lena.

[Kara] Clark?  
[Clark] Yeah?  
[Kara] Did you know how I felt… about her?  
[Clark] I had my suspicions. You were always on her side since the beginning, even with Cadmus and everything Lillian tried to pull. You’re also very bad at lying.  
[Kara] Ha, funny. I’ll let you know how my investigation goes. Love you  
[Clark] Love you too. Hang in there.

Now that she knew what to look for specifically, finding information about the explosion was a lot easier… until it wasn’t. No where on the open web could she find a list of victims. This was going to be drastically harder to do alone when she couldn’t even find names to give her a place to start. She would have to wait for Clark, but he was busy with Lois. There was no telling how long it would take until he would get back to her, so she went with the second best option.

She was going to have to go to Brainy. There was a slim chance she would be able to convince him that it was for an article, hopefully the incident would be vague enough that he wouldn’t even think it was about Nia’s premonitions. If anything, he would figure it out later, after she had time to interview the survivors.

Kara was completely burnt out by the end of the day, she was still mad at Nia and her search for the victims was coming up fruitless. She left a little early, after all, there wasn’t too much left she could do for the day work wise. 

Besides, it was time Supergirl made an appearance for the first time in a month. Her appearance would definitely insight questions but frankly, Kara did not care. Even if there wasn’t much rampant crime, she could at least help the cops chase down a criminal on the run. Stretch her legs a bit and get the hang of things again, besides, she needed to throw off Alex and Nia and make them think she’s getting better. 

What they don’t know won’t hurt them, right? Maybe they’d back off if Kara acted all perky and happy, like nothing was wrong. It was all she had now, Kara couldn’t find a care in the world, her only desire now was to find whoever did this to Lena and make them suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where this is going? stay tuned as i lose my sanity 
> 
> also: everything is a fecken mess y'all. tempted to add a venmo because i gotta eat and my dad refuses to support me and my mother and writing is my escape from the cruel reality of the real world


	5. Slipping Through the Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara might have just found who she believes killed Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the worst thing i have written lately,, my motivation is slipping away

Over two weeks slugged by since she had last seen Alex, subsequently meaning no human communication. Considering the only people she usually conversed with was the occasional L-Corp employee, corporate bigwig and Kara, it wasn’t like she was really missing much.

Sure, Lena missed fine things like expensive foods and unlimited access to technology, but she dearly missed Kara more than anything else. Each time she thought of her best friend, the annoying pang of curiosity sharpened insufferably at what possibly her super secret could be. Kara was an awful liar, Lena didn’t have the slightest idea at what it could be. 

Kara shared everything with her, she was as open as a person could get. Her only assumption was that maybe it had something to do with her birth parents. She didn’t really talk about them too much anymore, the only blood family she knew of was some cousin out in Metropolis. Lena never pried, she understood perfectly well that family was a sensitive subject. 

But what secret was so huge that she kept it from her best friend? Sure, Lena had plenty of trauma based secrets buried in an endless stack of boxes. There was so much shit she had suppressed over the years, but nothing ever seemed to bother Kara. She’s had her lows, but nothing a little than a little time and potstickers can fix. 

If Kara even forgave her for this disastrous stunt of hers, she couldn’t just intrude by demanding to know this elusive secret that Alex hinted at. It had to be massive too, or else why bother mentioning it? 

She set aside the persistent nagging to reside at the back of head so she may focus on the task at hand. Alex had sent over a narrowed list of names that could potentially be the person that had attacked both her and Kara repeatedly.

“Tommy West? No, there isn’t enough motive. Maybe Kai Ridge…” Lena scanned a couple more reports, searching for quality motivation and resources. Not just anyone had the brain to create a nerve agent that was undetected unless someone had access to a secret government agency with future technology.

“Maria Hart? She has a masters in chemistry, her brother died in a fire at one of Lex’s factories… Possibly? She works at Valen Labs? Doesn’t Edge own them? It can’t be this easy but it can’t hurt to have Alex check her out. I still have a feeling about Ryder Mason though, so I’ll send Alex to check out both of them. Nicholas Day as well, the poor soul lost his home and wife because of Lex… Shit, I knew my brother screwed so many people over,” Lena rambled to herself, tapping through a few more reports. “Not even including the bodies he left in his wake to destroy Superman.”

Lena groaned and tossed the tablet on the couch. She sent a quick message to Alex  
with the three names to look into. Her attention jerked to a loud crashing noise outside, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Grabbing a steak knife and flashlight, she slowly opened the door. She flicked on the light, illuminating the bushes that lined the path to the pathway.

There was no way someone found her out here, right? She took extra precaution to avoid any trace of where she was, besides, who would even be looking for her? Other than the crazy lunatic that was trying to murder her and Kara, that is. But she had removed herself from the equation, so they shouldn’t be searching for a dead woman. By all accounts, the only person that knew she was alive was Alex.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to form any shape from the darkness. The glistening white snow didn’t make anything easier, although it was reassuring that she didn’t see any large footprints to indicate a trespasser. None of her alarms sounded, so nothing of size had entered the property. So what was it that was making all that noise? 

Lena flinched as her socks immediately got soaked when she stepped out on the crunchy snow. Despite deeply regretting her decision, she slowly peered through the thick brush that surrounded the cabin. A scrawny shape froze as the flashlight reflected back a pair of eyes, too terrified to move. 

At first she thought it was a raccoon, until her eyes finally coordinated with her brain. It was a ragged cat, a scraggly black tom that had patchy fur. Even from a distance, she could tell the poor animal was starving. 

She dashed inside the house to grab some leftover chicken, leaving a trail of it leading up to the door. Lena fashioned a makeshift cave out of a chair and some blankets to provide the kitty some sanctuary in the harsh winter. It was all she could do for now, so with a heavy sigh Lena shut the door behind her. 

Lazily, she stripped off her soaked pants and frosted jacket, leaving them to puddle on the kitchen floor. She choose to sleep on the couch for the faintest chance of catching a glimpse of the stray. Besides, she had to wait on Alex to look into the names with her DEO resources so why not catch a blink of sleep.

Lena’s gaze remained fixated at the door until she slowly started to doze off, her eyelids growing heavier by the second.   
An exploding boom jolted Lena awake, terror shocked through every limb as her eyes burst open. She was sitting in a boardroom when Kara threw herself on top of Lena, pushing her under the table as glass and rubble went everywhere. Sheltered by the table, both Lena and Kara were safe from the jagged debris.

Despite the ringing in her ears, she could hear Kara’s desperate screaming as Lena struggled to focus on her face. Her blurry vision started to clear as she focused on Kara’s troubled blue eyes. 

Her heart slammed against her chest as her ears caught another faint sound, but she couldn’t place what it was. Lena’s breathing was shallow, she tried to be as quiet as possible to catch the sound again. 

Lena narrowed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart to gain a cognitive understanding at what was happening. She turned sharply towards the source of the sound, only to find herself back in the empty cabin. She had fallen off the couch, tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows. Staring at her with wide amber eyes on the other side of the glass was the scraggly cat. He meowed loudly at her, his bright gaze remained unwavering as he started to pace eagerly. 

Draping a blanket around her shoulders, Lena slowly opened the door, making sure she made no sudden movements. She didn’t want to spook the kitty, especially since it clearly wanted something. 

The cat darted through the door, surprising Lena with his eagerness. She was wrong, he certainly wasn’t a regular stray. Lena shut and securely locked the door, crouching low to the ground to coax him closer. 

He circled around the kitchen a couple times in search of food before getting bored, deciding to check out the human outstretching her arm. The cat sniffed her hand for a couple seconds before relaxing, a low purr rumbling from his throat.

“Hey sweet thing,” Lena murmured, grinning from ear to ear as he rubbed up against her. She let a hand loosely run over his back, a pang of grief echoed throughout Lena as she felt his distinct spine under her palm. 

“Did someone abandon you out here?” She asked partially to herself. There was a town about twenty minutes away, some cruel monster could have left him to die in the woods. In the glowing firelight, Lena could see that he had seen better days. His dark coat was rugged and unkempt, scars left barren spots where fur no longer grew. Even his eyes seemed dull, he didn’t look like he had much left in him. 

Lena straightened herself, only to start preparing a hearty meal filled with boiled chicken and canned tuna to satisfy the hungry cat. She smiled to herself, thrilled to have some form of company until she was free of this hell hole. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kara gently knocked on a freshly painted door, double checking the list of addresses in her notepad to make sure she was at the right address. She told Alex she was burying herself in a potentially groundbreaking case to get her to back off. In a sense, she wasn’t entirely lying, she could potentially be on the tail of Lena’s murderer. 

This was the fourth address she visited today in efforts to reach out to a family member to people that had died in the Vixen Steel explosion. 

To Kara’s surprise, someone opened the door. It was a middle-aged women, eyes glassy with sleep as she looked Kara up and down with a frown, “Can I help you?”

“Yes ‘mam, my name is Kara Danvers and I’m a reporter for Catco Magazine. I have a couple questions about an incident that took your brother a couple years ago?” Kara nervously adjusted her glasses. 

Her appearance softened immediately, opening the door wider to invite her in, “I thought Luthor Corp buried that years ago. I’ll take any chance I can to tell Aaron’s story.”

“Thank you!” Kara beamed, relieved that it didn’t take any more convincing. 

“Can I ask why this is coming up now?” The women asked, leading Kara to the kitchen. 

“My cousin was a reporter back then, he tried to do an article about Vixen Steel but he was shut down. He told me about it recently and I thought it couldn’t do any more harm to dig it back up,” Kara replied earnestly. It was half right, but the answer seemed to satisfy her. 

“Well, Kara, my name is Maria. It is such a delight to finally be able to talk to someone that will listen. I told people Lex Luthor was responsible, Aaron told me some of the shady shit that went down at Vixen. Everyone thought I was a crazy conspiracy bitch that just wanted compensation from Luthor juggernaut. At that time, Lex was esteemed, praised for his humanitarian work and inventions,” Maria started up the coffee machine, her back turned to Kara.

“And then he want psychotic,” Kara finished. Her stomach knotted with disgust knowing that there were so many things Lex had gotten away with.

“By the time he tried to destroy the sun or whatever, it was too late. Everyone forgot about the fire. Forty-seven people died, you know,” Maria sat down on the opposing side of the table.

“That’s horrible-” Kara said, blindly scribbling the information down. She knew what she needed, she was mainly here for was scooping out potential villains.

“And than his horrendous sister spouting her pro-alien nonsense. Lex may have murdered countless people but at least he had a noble goal. The Luthor family may have ruined mine and countless others, but as far as I’m concerned she’s just as bad as her brother,” she said nonchalantly, leaning across the table and put her hand over Kara’s.

“Lena Luthor is dead,” Kara replied harshly, clenching her jaw to stop herself from saying anything stupid. Maria’s sharp words stung deep, but she could not display any emotion. She had to keep her cover of neutral reporter, it didn’t appear that Maria was even aware that she wrote an entire article praising Lena Luthor. 

Maria replied a little too quickly for her comfort, “Good. One less Luthor in the world, the better.”

Bile rose in her throat, she was on the verge of tears again. It took every ounce of her strength to keep her face calm and agreeable. Kara adamantly changed topics before her anger got the better of her, “Aaron. What did he see? What was Lex producing there?”

“Weapons like you wouldn’t believe, military grade and then some. He thought that some of them looked extraterrestrial in design and function,” Maria calmly shrugged. She was far too calm and relaxed in Kara’s opinion. 

“Really? That’s insane, although if he was trying to hide his involvement I can see his motivation for setting the fire,” Kara had gathered all the information she needed and needed to find a natural end to this conversation. 

Maria nodded eagerly, “Precisely! I’m so relieved that someone finally gets it!”

“Thank you for your time, I’ll keep you updated as I have a couple other people to talk too,” Kara said dismissively. She tried to stand, but Maria’s grip tightened around her wrist.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for coffee?” She inquired forcefully. 

“Thank you but I really must go,” Kara said politely, standing up and pulling her arm out of Maria’s grip. 

A chill slithered down her spine as Kara left in a hurry, she didn’t wait for Maria to escort her out either. She didn’t like how passive and calm Maria was when talking about her brother’s death, let alone her vapid anti-alien stance and support for Lena’s death. That didn’t necessarily mean she was responsible for her best friend’s murder, it would be stupid to target all of her attention on to Maria, but if the evidence was there...

She forced herself to keep going, checking on a couple other families that lost someone to the factory fires. Maria admittedly was the only person that stood out, she was the only one that was boiling with hatred for the Luthors and actively wanted them to suffer. She had to be careful though, just in case, Maria was responsible for the attacks against her and Lena considering the weapons used were untraceable in the DEO’s database. 

There were still a couple other suspicious characters she wanted to check up on, but Kara had a bad feeling about Maria. She had to make sure she had evidence though, anyone with a brain would say she picked the first person that fit a profile to blame Lena’s death on.  
She returned to her apartment, determined to dig into Maria’s past to find anything that could lead her to solid proof. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How is your sister doing?” Kelly inquired, worry plaguing her wide brown eyes.

“She says fine, she’s back working at Catco. She blew up on Nia a couple of days ago,” Alex sighed, a twinge in her heart reached out to her grieving sister. 

“Everyone grieves in their own way, you can’t expect her to return to her bright and bubbly self so quickly,” she said with a soft sympathetic smile, “You just have to be there for her.”

Considering Kelly wasn’t aware of her sister’s alien origins, it was a lot easier said than done. “Of course, but I can’t help being worried. She lost herself after she had a, er, fall out with her last boyfriend,” Alex hated being so vague with her girlfriend, but until Kara gave her permission, she had to leave out a couple of key events. 

Kelly bristled as a chilled gust of wind brushed past. “I have some great grief counselors that she could talk too if need be,” she offered generously.

“I’ll let her know, however she hasn’t been too chatty lately. Come to think of it, I haven’t heard from her all day,” her stomach twisted with worry. “Last night she said she was following a really important lead…”

“Call her, maybe she was just lost track of time. Kara seems to be the type of person that gets consumed by her work, especially as a way to distract herself from healing,” Kelly replied evenly.

Alex nodded in agreement, dialing Kara’s number and waited. And waited some more. Her phone rang endlessly until it eventually picked up her voice mail box.

“Hey, Kara. I wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch with Kelly and me, we’ll be at Noonan’s at 11 if you’d like to run by,” Alex met Kelly’s gaze, her own worry reflecting back on her. Kara had never gone radio silent. Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen much of Supergirl over the past day either… 

“She isn’t one to go quiet, I assume?” She asked, although Kelly already knew the answer. 

She went silent for a moment, mind reeling at just where her sister could be. Maybe Brainy had a couple of theories… “No. Kara tends to get herself into trouble more often than I’d like to admit.”

“And you’re going to use your super secret FBI resources to find her?” Kelly asked, knowing Alex all too well.

“Something like that,” Alex groaned, running a hand through her short hair, “Kara tends to let her emotions decide her actions, she doesn't think before acting.”

“Go, go do your secret government thing and find your sister. Keep me updated, okay? We can do dinner, alright?” Kelly kissed her cheek. 

Her heart warmed, she really was the luckiest woman to have such an understanding girlfriend. Guilt gripped her, locking it in like a starving wolf catching prey. Kelly was being so supportive and she kept lying, especially about her multiple trips out to meet Lena. As soon as this was over, she would tell Kelly the truth, or as much of it as possible. 

Alex arrived at the DEO, still without any word from Kara. Brainy hadn’t heard anything either, tracking her cell phone proved at least partially helpful. They track her past movements over the course of the week, although her current location was a rather obscure road on the outskirts of a small town. 

She wanted to keep this information within a limited group, right now, only Brainy needed to know. She would have to postpone her meeting with Lena… Or if there was a meeting at all, her DEO agents were investigating possible suspects right now. 

“Find her, Brainy,” Alex snapped, trying to find solace in the idea that there shouldn’t be any more Kryptonite to do any serious damage… It was Kara. She was emotional, as far as she knew her best friend had died. But going completely awall? She just had a really bad feeling.

“I am trying! She’s gone radio silent, I’m trying to pinpoint her unique signature right now-”

“As soon as you get anything, send me the location,” she ordered, pulling out her phone to shoot a text to Lena. 

\----------

[Alex Danvers] You may be safe to come home, I have agents searching houses right now of each of the names you sent me. If all else fails, I’ll be there in a week to look at alternative threats.  
[Lena Luthor] Next week? I thought you were coming down this weekend?  
[Alex Danvers] Something has come up.  
[Lena Luthor] Oh? I hope everything is alright.  
[Alex Danvers] So do I. I’ll let you know as soon as the agents report back.

\--------

“Director Danvers,” Brainy cleared his throat, ‘subtly’ calling her over. He handed her a tablet and quietly said, “It seems she’s residing on the outskirts of Starling City.”

“Starling… City? That’s strange,” Alex zoomed in on her location. Her jaw almost hit the floor,“she’s just at some…”

“Shit. Shiiit… I think we just found the person that tried to kill Lena and Kara,” Alex pulled up the file on Maria Hart. She quickly scanned through the file, eyes widening as she connected the dots, “She’s in a research facility that belongs to Edge Global, Valen Labs.”

“Get the helicopter ready, we’re going to Starling City,” Alex said shortly, not even bothering to reach out to her sister. It was clear at this point, Kara was going rogue.

Alex only brought along Brainy, since she wasn’t sure if she was using her alias or doing some reporting.  
Kara was still here, but why? It was a legitimate research group, but they did have some designs and machines that could have been rigged to explode. Maybe Kara thought… Oh.

“What are you up too, Kara?” Alex held her gun evenly in front of her as she quietly approached the door, narrowing her eyes as she saw that it had been kicked in. Not by any human force, it was clearly done by something with peculiar strength.

Or an alien.

“Someone just made a 911 call, the police will be here shortly,” Brainy warned, even his robotic tone betraying his confusion. 

“Usually…” Alex muttered cautiously, dipping her head around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. 

“I swear! I do-don’t know a-anything!” A terrified voice echoed through the empty halls. It didn’t sound like Kara, but it only made her even more confused and terrified. 

“That certainly does not sound good,” Brainy commented, hurrying after Alex as she kept walking without acknowledging him.

Alex almost dropped her gun at the sight of a handful of horrified scientists crouching against the wall, trembling in terror. 

A hooded figure tightly clasped a middle aged man by the color, lifting them a foot off the ground, “She works here! This is the only place where she could get the specific toxin used that tried to poison Lena Luthor!” The disguised woman demanded, but her tone faltered. “The bomb that almost killed her could have been crafted here too!”

Alex knew that voice all too well. A shiver trickled down her spine, frozen in spot as her brain reeled for an explanation. Kara was only rough if it they deserve it; not innocent scientists.

“What’s going on here?” She asked softly, not wanting to provoc Kara any more than she already was.

She immediately dropped the scientist to the ground and whirled to see Alex and Brainy there. The hood covered most of her face, but there was no mistaking that this was Kara. 

“Get them out of here,” she ordered Brainy. He hesitated for a split second, it only took a hardened glare to encourage him to escort the horrified people out.

“What the fuck Kara? What has gotten into you?” Alex holstered her gun, grabbing Kara’s arm as she tried to walk past her. 

“She was here. She works here,” Kara hissed, jerking herself free from her sister’s grasp.

Alex walked alongside her, hoping she didn’t decide to speed off. She needed answers, and she needed answers now. “Who? Kara, why were you terrorizing these people?”

“The woman that attacked Lena and I, the one that killed her,” she snarled, finally facing Alex. “They weren’t going to tell a measly reporter what they’re doing here. Why is it that now she’s disappeared? I need evidence that she was behind the attacks, that she killed Lena-”

“Slow down, Kara. Breathe. Who are you talking about?” Alex took both of her hands, sorrow and guilt shot through her bones as she felt Kara shaking uncontrollably in her grasp.  
Kara lowered her head, tears dripped down to soak the solid black hoodie, “Maria Hart. She did it, she murdered my b-best…” 

“Kara…” It took every atom of self control not to confess that Kara’s best friend wasn’t dead. If it was Maria Hart that was behind the attacks, than they were one step closer to bringing Lena home, “I’m here, we will get through this together but you have to let me in.”

“There is no ‘together’ in this. You were friends with Lena but you were always ready to doubt her; come the chance. She was so much more to me than some random person, Alex,” Kara stumbled over her words as she collapsed into Alex’s arms. “I don’t know what came over me, I was completely out of control... Just blinding rage, I just needed her back.” 

“I hear you,” Alex soothed, leaning into her shaking sister, “Kara, trust me. Everything can only get better from here.” Oh if only Kara knew… But it would only make things worse. 

“Fuck, Alex, it hurts so much. There are so many things I should have told her, but… Now I will never have the chance. If I hadn’t been so distracted, I could have found Maria before she finally succeeded. If Lena knew I was Supergirl, she could have called me when she-she was…” 

“Hush… Let’s go home, okay? We’ll put this behind us for good, Brainy will take their statements and we’ll brush this under the rug, forget it okay? Put it in the past,” Alex’s heart wrenched as Kara shuddered into her. “Don’t worry, we will stop Maria.”

Kara whimpered like a wounded puppy, willingly following her as Alex guided her to the helicopter. She nodded to Brainy, and he dismissed the scientists with a respectful nod.

What had gotten into Kara? Never in her life had she seen Kara so… angry. Unnecessarily violent? Alex shook her head as Kara dragged herself into the helicopter, realizing with a start that Kara was losing herself. She was no longer a blinding light of sunshine, but now a tremulous dark cloud before a storm. Even when Lena came back, would Kara even be able to recover? Would she even forgive Lena for this? Just because Alex struggled to understand why they couldn’t let Kara in on it, doesn’t mean she will cave in now. 

It’s not just Lena that will have to deal with the fallout, but Alex too. Potentially, National City as a whole too.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Stay tuned for the next one, I've some interesting plans for the next chapter


End file.
